this will be posted in chapters...
CHAPTER 1
Those decals you see on the back windows of family cars which depict how many family members belong to that car, their respective sexes and ages. How any parent would want to advertise this to every creep they could possibly pass on their way to the mall is beyond me. This is sure to offend people but it's like a menu for pedophiles. Please, prove me wrong. Convince me that those stickers are a good idea.
CHAPTER 2
Few things make my heart sink faster or deeper than the sound of grocery bags in the back seat tumbling over when I make a turn over 5 mph. It only gets worse when the sound of rolling oranges follows. I once opened my car door to find that my freshly purchased gallon of milk had dramatically shifted angles, only to commit lacticide on my driveway. Have you ever hosed milk off your driveway? It's definitely a "what-am-I-doing-with-my-life" moment.
I'm just impressed that you buy oranges and milk. Geez. Health freak.
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